Letting Go Letting God

These past months of rehab God has been doing more work on my heart through this process. As I start getting back on the water,  I wanted to share this part of my journey with everyone.  Enjoy the read and please comment with your own stories of how God works through your life.  Thank you

 

Excited for the unknown future, I was about to graduate from college. I had the mindset I was going to conquer the world with my degree in Exercise Science. During the fall quarter, I decided I would not apply to Physical Therapy School, but instead I applied to Coble Ski School. It had always been a dream to compete in water skiing, but I never had the opportunity to learn to water ski the course. The thought of being able to be an instructor at Coble Ski School was beyond my imagination. It was uncertain if I had the job or not. Yet, I was still excited for what God had planed for me and continued to trust Him.

 

To my surprise, I received a call that spring from April Coble informing me she wanted me to work at her facility. Shocked the dream was soon becoming a reality; I was beyond excited and nervous all at the same time. For I was unsure what the future would look like after ski school (because we all know how much ski school instructors make), but I was content knowing I was in God’s hands.

 

After a fantasy summer at Coble’s, I was thrilled with the progress I was able to make skiing the course. Difficult to leave, I found my courage to enter the “real world” as I trusted in God’s plan for me.

 

Having complete faith God would direct me, I moved to Seattle in hopes for the perfect job allowing me to ski. Again God provided me a job as a Personal Trainer. I was thrilled to share my passion for exercise and help others towards a healthier lifestyle. As a result of working as a trainer, I was able to set my own hours and was able to still water ski during the summer.

 

Astonished of the beauty of the Pacific Northwest and all the amazing water ski lakes, I was captivated by God’s beauty. I felt so blessed to be living both dreams as a trainer and as a water skier while enjoying His wonderful creation.

 

It was my first summer competing in water skiing and I was determined to qualify for regionals and nationals. Surprising myself, I was soon competing in regionals and shortly after I qualified for nationals. After competing at nationals, I had the sweet taste of victory, but could not taste the prideful poison inside of it. Just like the poisonous apple instantly took over Snow White’s body, the prideful poison instantly took over my mind. After reaching my goals for the season, I started to think it was my because of my strength and determination I was able to accomplish my goals. I started to let pride take over me and it blinded me from God’s work.

 

With water ski season coming to an end, I turned my focus towards my workouts. Like a kid in a candy store I was eating up all these delicious new exercise routines I was learning from my career. I started to have some pain in my back and like a kid with a cavity I ignored the pain and continued with my lifts. Pushing through the pain, I did not want to give up my strength. Soon the pain became so unbearable it forced me to see a doctor.

 

Stunned that I was prescribed to take a week off of work and rest, my world started to slip through my hands. Scared for the future, I let anxiety attack my thoughts. Fear flooded my mind, fear of not being able to water ski, fear for my career, fear for my health and fear for my life. The pain was becoming too great for the doctors treatments and the only thing I could do was rest. The pain was increasing and it felt as if I was in a corset. As my fear increased the corset would tighten making it a challenge to take a full breath. Finding myself saturated by my tears I cried out to God, “Why?”

 

Hoping for answer, God slowly started to reveal Himself to me through people I had never met. It wasn’t until I was told abide in Him. I thought to my self, “What does that mean and how is that suppose to help me with this pain?”

 

John 15:5 was the verse I found the meaning of abide in Him. It says, “ I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him he will bear fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” This verse pulled back my blinding pride. I started to see how I relied on my own strength for everything. I found all my identities in my strengths: personal trainer, water skier, athlete, and strong female, independent the list goes one.

 

Rereading this message over and over, I slowly realized how blinded I was by my selfish pride. God had to strip all my identities away for me to realize I am nothing without Him in my life. He slowly allowed me to take these identities to the cross. As I tearfully disrobed my identities piece by piece, I started clothes myself day and night with “If a man remains in me and I in him he will bear fruit” ringing in my head.

 

Still finding myself saturated with tears, this time I was calling out for God’s strength. Naked and ashamed for my ignorant prideful sin, God clothed me with His mercy and grace. Despite my sin, I was surround by His love and my eyes were open to His works. I saw how it is only because God’s provision for me that allowed me to live my dreams

 

Captivated by His presence, I started to see how He had placed these passions for health and water-skiing in my heart. It is through these passions I am able to glorify Him and give Him praise. Through His blessings I was able to return to work and continue to enjoy His beautiful creation while water skiing. IMG_0089

 

God continues to use both my career and my water ski journey to deepen my faith. He lovely reveals Himself to me through clients, water ski buddies, creation, and even water ski competitions. I am challenged daily to rely on His strength, as I become the person He created me to be.

 

Ironically, God saved me through an injury. As I write this two years post, I find myself again in the same scenario. Instead of being scared of being out of work unable to water ski, and exercise, I am excited for the unknown future knowing God is in control. I continue to trust God for I know His plans are much better than mine and have a powerful purpose.

 

We may never understand the “Why” at the moment but God will slowly reveal Himself to those who are willing to “Let Go” and “Let God.”

 

 

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